Welcome to the second installment of Music Mondays, I hope you liked the first song. Today’s song is Colbie Caillat’s “Try”.
This song is actually the one that gave me the gentle nugdge I needed to start this blog. While I have always been a strong advocate of healthy body image, I didn’t always believe my own message of self-love and self-compassion. I certainly did convince myself that I was doing just fine, but then I heard this song, which in all its simplicity, revealed to me just how much work I still needed to do. This blog is therefore an effort for both you and I to do the work necessary to find beauty and love for a body we’ve been told deserves neither.
Colbie Caillat wrote this song with Babyface, inspired by her own experience of being pressured into becoming someone she’s not at all. She channeled that pressure into beautiful lyrics, where she asks a very simply question, the answer to which will reveal to you the kind of relationship you have with yourself.
“Do you like you?”
It’s a very simple question, nothing ground breaking, nothing too demanding, but it is one that requires an honest look into yourself. You don’t even need to love you. Do you at least like you? Do you even tolerate you? Once I answered that question for myself, I realized that I could barely stand myself. My body was like a prison I was constantly trying to escape. All the exercise, all the juicing, all the waist trainers, those were all strategies to make my body into something finally worthy of love. This isn’t to say that all of those things are bad for you, but it is the intention behind it. Because will self-loathing as my motivator, I was willing to go too far; to push through serious injuries during exercise, to starve myself, to refuse any love coming my way. But then I made the decision to rebuild myself with self-care and compassion and most importantly, much needed appreciation for the resilience of my body. This shifted the way I treated myself and the abuse I was willing to accept (from myself or anyone else)
Colbie sings that “you don’t have to try so hard, you don’t have to change a single thing”, because you are already enough as you are. There is never enough that you can do to make people like you. The criteria to be loved by everyone is unattainable. Put make up on but look natural, be sexy but not too much, be curvy but not fat, be skinny but not bony, nothing is ever good enough. You don’t have to try so hard because as you are right this very minute, you are already enough to deserve love. You deserve your own love. Give to yourself abundantly and unapologetically. Do you like you? Do you love you?
Favorite part: Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you.
Isabelle Masado writes about body compassion on her blog "The Dear Body Project". She knows all too well that the personal is the political, is the community. As such, there is no discussing body compassion without talking about the assault on black bodies, trans women, and people with disabilities. Her mantra is, "How can I live in a way that makes room for you too"? She writes to examine, to heal, to redeem.