“And do not try to be consistent, for what is true to you today may not be true at all tomorrow, because you see a better truth.” ~~unknown
You will feel like a fraud. Because just yesterday you were saying how in love you were with your body. How grateful you are for the miraculous feats your body can perform. But today, right now, this dress doesn’t fit and you hate your body. Because of that, you feel like a fraud. You feel like a failure.
Don’t. Allow your truth to fluctuate. Allow your love to change, to rise and fall like the mountains and valleys that are the topography of your body. You are not a fraud. That love you proclaimed yesterday, that was your truth yesterday. This discomfort you feel, this exasperation, this neediness, this wanting for validation, that is your truth today. You are not a fraud.
Allow your self-love to be an ever evolving journey with its own trials and tribulations and celebrations, but supported with one absolute truth.
You are always deserving of your own love.
Let that be the truth that is forever housed in your mind. Let it linger, speak it in whispers, in songs, in prayers, in incantations, in negotiations, anything. Anything to hold it near.
But always no matter what, be honest with yourself.
Be honest when some days you just can’t bring yourself to say kind words about you.
Be honest when some days you don’t have anything nice to say about your love handles. Don’t pretend with yourself when you’re in a department store and you’re saddened because nothing fits right. There is nobody else there but you, no need to pretend with yourself, like you have to do in front of other people. Not everyone deserves your vulnerability. But with you, you need to be your own refuge, your own safe space to fall apart without judgment. Feel all your feelings. What I plead with you, is to allow yourself to sit in that pain, sit in that discomfort, but remember your truth. That you are always deserving of your own love.
Maybe today the best you can do is just acknowledge the pain and disappointment. Maybe tomorrow you will find it in you to give some compassion. And then a few days from now, you will utter the words you need to hear. Dear body, I love you. I am struggling to love you but I love you, I am learning to love you. Be patient with yourself. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. And always, without hesitation, be honest with yourself. .
Isabelle Masado writes about body compassion on her blog "The Dear Body Project". She knows all too well that the personal is the political, is the community. As such, there is no discussing body compassion without talking about the assault on black bodies, trans women, and people with disabilities. Her mantra is, "How can I live in a way that makes room for you too"? She writes to examine, to heal, to redeem.