My hands start to sweat, my fingers clench in a fist, my chest feels heavy and I have a knot in my throat, then then start to feel so nauseous that I’m dizzy. This is the feeling that I experience every time I’m faced with a challenge in life, because my mind goes to the worst case scenario, and I immediately feeling helpless and hopeless. It was my norm for the longest time, which often caused me to react either in anger, or run from great opportunities because I couldn’t get past the fear.
Welcome to day 12 of #31DaysOfSelfCompassion
The theme today is Life on Your Own Terms
I used to act only from impulses, consistently letting my fear and anger get the best of me. That is until I learned to practice the sacred pause, called querencia. “I stumbled on this word while reading “Radical Acceptance” by Dr. Tara Brach.
She writes, ” in bullfighting, it is believed that in the midst of a fight, a bull can find his own particular area of safety in the arena, There, he can reclaim strength and power. This inner state is called querencia. As long as the bull remains enraged and reactive, this matador is in charge. Yet when the bull finds querencia, he gathers his strength and loses his fear” There isn’t a scarcity of moments when you feel any efforts to lose weight just seem in vain, moments when nothing makes you feel good, moments when people’s comments about your body make you feel worthless, moments when big opportunities just make want to run in the other direction instead of grabbing the bull by the horns.
Querencia is a reminder to pause. Pause and check in with yourself. How am I feeling? I don’t want to always be reactive, so how do I regain control and deal with this situation on my terms? That pause is the kindest, most important thing you can do for yourself when everything seems to be spinning out of control.
The power of querencia is not just in the pause, and the breath to take; it’s the fact that it reminds you that within you, exist a place that is the source of infinite power. That’s where you find the shift from helplessness to empowerment. That suspension of time, that sacred pause is where you draw your strength and recharge before you take on the world. Pause, breathe, ask, heal, recharge, and charge on.
Can you take a deep breath?
Isabelle Masado writes about body compassion on her blog "The Dear Body Project". She knows all too well that the personal is the political, is the community. As such, there is no discussing body compassion without talking about the assault on black bodies, trans women, and people with disabilities. Her mantra is, "How can I live in a way that makes room for you too"? She writes to examine, to heal, to redeem.